Uncovering Truths

My interviewee is my mother Nadine. She was born in North Hollywood, CA to a middle class family.  She was her parent’s first born child and the only girl to her two younger brothers Ernest and Charles. She is of Mexican-American descent but never learned to speak Spanish as her mother’s side of the family had never learned as well. This pattern has been carried down to Nadine’s children; my sister and I never learned Spanish since our mother’s side only spoke English. Although my mother never learned Spanish, she grew up immersed in the Mexican-American culture and lived in an area that had a large Mexican population.  

My interview with my mother Nadine was done in a quiet setting and one that was comfortable for her, which was her home. As the anthropologist, I took to the interview with the intent to ask my mother questions, keeping in mind that these answers are from her point of view and not from mine. I think that knowing the interviewee can make it easier to cross the lines and input your own opinions into the interviewee’s experience, so I had to make a conscious effort to remember that the success of this interview would come from hearing what my mother had to say. During our interview, I found that I felt feelings of comfort as well as awkwardness during certain points.  When it came to asking general questions about Nadine’s family members, the answers came easily. However when it came to asking more in depth questions such as who she was close with and who she would not communicate with, I felt a sense of awkwardness in the time it took for her to answer the questions.  I could sense a feeling of unease as she answered the questions and it was as though she was recalling unfortunate memories. Although I could sense some questions were more difficult to answer than others, it didn’t affect my ability to continue the interview.  On the flip side, if my interviewee was someone that I was not related to, I think it would have been difficult to continue with the interview and ask the questions that needed to be asked.  However since I was interviewing my mother, I felt that I could go there and uncover the truths behind the awkward questions.

Through this interview I found that my mother was very close with her maternal side, particularly her grandmother Josie. This began as a young child and continued through to the end until her grandmother passed away.  Although my mom was close with her mother’s side, she wasn’t quite close with her own mother.  My mom said the reason for this divide was that they constantly bumped heads. She also felt that she could never please her mother as what she did and who she was, was never good enough.  I had always felt the friction in their relationship; however hearing my mom describe her feelings about her mother in this way gave me a clearer understanding of their relationship and why it never resolved itself.  It appears that because of this friction my mother chose to align herself with members from her mother’s side.  She is particularly close with her mother’s sisters, more so than she is with their children who are her first cousins. Although some are more close to one another than others, we as a family overall are quite close to everyone regardless of age. Although our family is quite large, with my grandmother having six siblings, we have remained a close knit group as we all live within 20 miles of each other. Since we have all grown up in this area, and come from a blend of Mexican and American culture, we are all able to equally relate to one another without cultural differences affecting our relationships, our experiences and our ability to communicate.

The individuals who have the most influence in our family are the women. This was the case with my great grandmother, my grandma, and now my mother.  I feel that they hold the most influence in our family as they are the most outspoken and opinionated.  I come from a family with a large majority of women who are very strong and vocal, and where the men tend to take on a more quiet role; this then leaves the women to assume the role as the matriarch. Although women in our family take on a powerful role, it doesn’t mean that the men are looked at as being less equal or subservient. They are just as powerful as the women however they tend to be more quiet about it. Being that we are a large family you would assume that it would be difficult for those that marry into our family to fit in, however it is actually quite the opposite.  Those that marry in are treated as blood relatives, and have become quite close with all of our family members. 

Through completing this interview with my mother I discovered things that I had not known about our family, such as the size of my mother’s father’s family.  My mom could remember the names of seven of his siblings however there were two more that she couldn’t remember.  I had never met my grandfather as he passed away before the age of thirty, and sadly never learned much about him.  However through this assignment, I got a chance to learn things about his side of the family that I had never known before. My mom was never close with his side of the family and therefore didn’t know if his siblings had children, who would be her first cousins. My family definitely places much more of an emphasis on the maternal side in comparison to the paternal side in our family.  This was the case for my mother and is the case with me. Funny enough, I discovered this pattern through the interview with my mother.  For me, I am extremely close with my father but I am not very close with his side of the family, and never was growing up.  Family functions and birthdays always included my mother’s side of the family, and rarely anyone from my dad’s side (even though he has brothers and sisters that live relatively close by).  Growing up you just see your closeness with one side of the family as what is comfortable and familiar however now I can see the pattern and similarity between myself and my mother.